Yet another blog...

The time has come. I have created another blog to document how life as a family of more than two! Join us at thetraugerwayoflife.blogspot.com

Another year another crazy ride.

Another year has passed and thank goodness for timehop I was reminded of the stage of life I was in this time a year ago. Although no one knew it we had just completed our second round of fertility treatments and were in the dreaded two week wait. Little did we know that about a week later we would find out we were pregnant with our baby who is now 3 months old! Ah, time is flying by so let’s recap…

August find out we are pregnant but keep it a secret to most people until right before Christmas. 

September my mother tears her Achilles heal and we all struggle as a family to help keep her happy and healing as best as we can. 

October continued to go on with life, football games, fun with friends, not telling people we are pregnant, you know normal life things. 

November head to Florida with my family for Thanksgiving and realize this is the last time as a Roth “party of 5” as in a year we will be a party of 6 with a six month old in tow for the first trip to the beach and on the boat. I think this really hit my parents hard as my dad bought a brand new boat for his growing family on that trip!  

December went by fast as I had to travel for work almost immediately after returning from Florida and then we began to tell more friends and family we were expecting after several level 2 ultrasounds. Christmas finally came and we let the cat out of the bag that morning, the text messages, phone calls, and social media chatter went crazy. We celebrated our last Christmas as a couple without kids and loved thinking about how next year would be with an infant. 

January came quickly as we finished painting the nursery and putting together the furniture. I had my last work travel adventure to Salt Lake City as well.  

February came and we continued life and tried to do as many things as we could before our life would change forever with a child. We went to basketball games, went out to eat, finished the basement makeover, and just enjoyed each other. 

March was a month filled of lots of baby stuff. We finished the nursery, I had my baby shower, and we did a lot of other baby prep and really started to realize time was flying by. 

April came and it was one of the longest months ever. May was when we welcomed baby Lincoln into the world and wow that month flew by quicker than I ever could have imagined. 

June was fun as we got to start seeing a little personality in our little guy. 

July came and I knew it was time for me to go back to work soon. I did a little visit at work with Lincoln and couldn’t believe that is three short weeks my 12 weeks of leave were over and that my second day back would also be our two year anniversary. 

A lot happens in a year and although it might have been the fastest year yet looking back it felt like an eternity being pregnant. But now that baby is here time is again flying by and I want it to slow down!  

The Unexpected Breastfeeding Challenge

Breastfeeding was something I had really really really wanted to make work and although the baby immediately latched on at the hospital we struggled to get good latches the first few weeks. Thank god for the Brestfriend pillow. That thing was a lifesaver. I also had to live by the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results when it came to positions for latching. But once week two hit I was still in a ton of pain when he latched initially and my nipples were cracking and being ripped off and showing no signs of improvement. So I made an appointment with an IBCLC would just also happened to be my doula too. She came and accessed my latch, position, etc. and that looked good so she looked into his mouth to see if a tongue tie might be the issue. Low and behold although she was not a medical professional she was pretty sure it was a tie. And after learning what a tie was exactly and hearing the symptoms (clicking noise while eating, excessive gas, nipple pain, chomping of the mouth vs a fluid suck/swallow motion, and difficulty latching) I was pretty positive that is what he had because we had almost every single symptom except poor weight gain which is why up to this point no one had mentioned it as he was gaining weight well. 

She recommended that we consult a professional for an evaluation for a revision if we were interested and gave us resources. She also shared her experience with ties and that lasting affects they can have on kids such as speech problems, etc. I was relived to have finally figured out why I was in so much pain but also so anxious to get a revision done there was no thinking about it for us after hearing the lasting affects. And also because at this point I was dreading feeding my son and I was doing that about 10 - 12 times a day and he did not take a bottle yet. I literally looked forward to the nights because I knew he'd sleep longer and I'd get a break from the pain. Once we had the resources I spent the next waking hours researching and trying to find out who I was going to call first thing the next morning. I also had reached out to a Facebook friend about her experience and a facebook group for tongue tied for any advice. After exhausting all the dentists we were referred to for a revision vs an ENT for an immediate appointment in hope to find some relief although I was skeptical based on information from my IBCLC as well as the trusted chiropractor we go to. They warned me that something an ENT would do would not be the full revision and would likely grow back even with stretches under the tongue. But I wanted to see if it would help at all because I was in a lot of pain several times a day when I breastfed. 

So we went to the appointment the doctor came in said the procedure was no big deal and it'd be over in a few minutes and that I could nurse immediately after. I of course asked about stretches and he said no need and I also asked about when I'd be able to notice a difference he said in a few days. I was skeptical but that was all I could do at that moment. So we went for the procedure poor boy screamed like heck but between my MIL, the nurse, and myself we held him down while the doctor clipped his tie. I immediately nursed him afterwards and he fell asleep as we left the hospital.  

The weekend went on and no change at all. I had already made an appointment with one of the dentists for the following Friday in case this first plan of attack didn't work. Luckily when I called I must have really sounded desperate as I got a call Monday morning from the office saying the dentist had returned early from vacation and there was an opening Tuesday afternoon. I said great I'll be there. I finally felt like I was going to reach a point of relief. In fact I had counted down the number of feedings I had left until we would be at the office for a revision. 

In the meantime we went to a cranial sacral therapist (CST) on Monday who works with babies who have tongue ties. She did some initial therapy on him to help ease the affects to his body. And we would be seeing her several days and weeks after the revision. We also were recommended to do supervised tummy napping which we did and he's been a tummy sleeper ever since!

On Tuesday my mom drove with me to Dayton for the revision and my husband met us there. Once we got there we saw the dentist and he did an evaluation and confirmed a tongue tie was present and that 3mm was needed to be lasered and cauterized. He explained the procedure: numbing gel, then a quick 30 second laser all while baby was wrapped in a swaddle with special laser sunglasses. We agreed and said lets get this over with. So we got to stay in the room with Lincoln and talk to him during the procedure and help hold his feet. It was literally one minute and we took him directly back into the lactation room and nursed him. He took a few minutes to figure out how to use his new tongue mobility in fact I had to switch sides to his favorite boob in order to help him latch properly. I immediately could feel that he was moving his tongue better but also knew it would take time to kick the bad habits he had created from the tie. But that's all he knew from birth so you couldn't blame the kid.  

After the revision the doctor came in to review the exercises with us and tell us we needed to do them 3 times a day for a month. We also knew we would be going to the CST a few times and she would also help to make sure the revision was healing correctly. 

At about a month post revision was when things finally healed. The first week post revision we didn't know if Lincoln was in pain from the revision or in pain from his tummy problems so we did some baby Tylenol and arnica liquid.  And ultimately he was really in pain from a bad case of colic that we never really realized he had until he was 10 weeks old.  Looking back the top things that made this whole situation turn out for the best was persistence on my part to not give up, my husband's support in every aspect, my ability to google and reach out to people I never really talked to ever or haven't talked to in years and lastly my ability to look behind the typical medical protocol. I was a  believer in therapies like bodywork done by a CST and chiropractic adjustments. In fact a went to a chiropractor my entire pregnancy. These alternatives therapies were monumental in the healing of Lincoln's tongue tie but also in the ability to deal with the stress of a high needs colicky baby without having to hear crying for several hours a day. And these techniques weren't invasive, they were all very gentle and to be honest Lincoln loved it. He slept through most of the bodywork sessions until he was about 8 weeks. 

Now whenever someone says they're having trouble breastfeeding and their kid has a lot of gas or reflux I suggest they get looked for tongue ties. I 100% believe it's a condition that is overlooked but can be corrected with a little hard work and persistence.

If there is a baby #2 we will make an appointment to see the dentist Dr. Coleman as soon as baby is born to get evaluated because ties are genetic and if we have another baby with a tie we don't want to wait until it's 3 weeks old to get revised. 

The wound healing 

Our little tummy napper 

A reflection of the birth and pregnancy

Wow, it is crazy what can happen in a years time. A year ago we got some of the worst news and today we are in awe of our little baby boy. Looking back to when we conceived Lincoln and today I guess I cannot complain too much. My pregnancy was pretty easy although I hated being pregnant. In my opinion is was a necessary evil more than lovely phase of my life. My birth although did not go exactly as planned - not that I anticipated it to anyhow - was a great experience and I met my goal of having an unmedicated birth although it was not entirely natural. And now a few days postpartum I am feeling pretty well. 

Some would say I got lucky but I think it was more of a combo of luck and preparation. I read a ton of books, articles, blogs, etc. that prepared me for what the birthing experience might be like. I talked to many women who did give birth naturally. I took a class with a private instructor to tell my husband and I what to expect and teach us what would happen. I continued to keep myself active and in shape as much as possible through exercise and chiropractic adjustments. And lastly I made sure my family, husband, doctors and a few close friends knew my wishes for the birth experience. Yes, I probably got lucky that Lincoln was able to navigate the birth canal easily and the induction method worked well with my body. And I think I got really really lucky with the doctor that was on call the day I was induced. I might have done the work but I was grateful to have been assisted through methods that allowed by body to give birth with little intervention as possible. 

One of the things that surprised me the most was the vividness of my labor and delivery. Although I was in and out of some severe pain and discomfort I can recall every thing that was said during that time. My eyes might have been closed and I might have been concentrating so hard but I can recall being told I was doing great, I can remember when the doctor asked me if I wanted to help pull the baby out, and I remember my husband telling me how strong I was. I can recall the adrenal rush but exhaustion that came over me as I pulled Lincoln up to my chest. I couldn't believe I had actually given birth with no epidural and that I was finally a mom. I can remember the doctor asking his name and although I could have answered easily as we had the name picked out for quite some time, I told my husband to announce it. I did my job the baby was here and it was his turn to let the world know the name of our son I just wanted to lay there and look at my baby who was laying on my chest so bright eyes.

The postpartum phase was about how I imagined it. I knew the sooner I got to moving the quicker I would recover. Although it was tough getting in and out of the hospital bed and then off the couch I knew the more I did it the better it would feel. Wearing pads that I had not seen nor worn since middle school was a pain but essential. And those mesh panties - they are great for the first two days. I was skeptical but appreciative once the time came. Getting a chiropractic adjustment 3 days postpartum also helped although I'm pretty sure I popped my own tail bone in once we got home from the hospital by getting off the couch. 

Reviewing the birth with my doula at 4 days postpartum I learned that some of the items that happened during that time were not typical. For one, having the opportunity to help pull your baby out - that was unheard of - some even referred to it as so Kardashian. I guess Kortney Kardashian did that with her daughter. I learned that the alertness that Lincoln possessed at birth was a perfect example of a baby without any pain medications such as an epidural in their system. 

Looking back at the whole experience I'd do it again. But if only I could fast forward to birth vs. spending 9-10 months cooking a baby. Yes, I'd rather give birth unmedicated vs. spending 9 months sharing my body with a baby. 

Lincoln Joshua's birth story

On May 2nd I went into my doctors appt like no big deal. I was prepared to go into work immediately afterward. Well life had a different plan...

8am: Got an Ultrasound. The tech stated everything on the baby looked okay but I had low fluids. The fluid was measured at four quadrants and calculated as the amniotic fluid level (AFL). My levels were at 4.5 cm and anything less than 5 cm was considered low. So it meant induction. 

8:30am: I saw doctor and she stated an induction needed to occur. She knew this was not the news I wanted to here so since I was on my way to work with no bag, etc  I talked her into letting me go home and come back. She said I needed to be back to hospital by lunchtime.

So as soon as I got out of the office I called my husband and told him the news. He said he would leave work and meet me at home. Let's just say there were lots of tears shed that ride back home. I was ready to be done being pregnant but I wasn't excited about the unknown of an induction.

9am: Arrived back at home. I got my stuff ready, finished up last minute items, ate a snack and loaded the car.

On the way to the hospital I sent my work an email letting them know that I would not be in today or for another 12 weeks! 

10:45am: Checked in to Good Sam Hospital

11:00am: We were sent directly into the labor and delivery room. We had quite some time to just chill as we waited for the doctor to arrive. 

11:30am: We finally met with Dr. Leroy and discussed how the induction would go. She stated she used a cook cervical ripening balloon which would open my cervix to 5cm along with a low dose pitocin drip. 

Noon: The balloon was inserted which was slightly uncomfortable but nothing crazy and the pitocin was started (increase 2 every half hour until 10 dips). Also since I was Group B strep positive I had to have penicillin so that was started as well. 

No one except our works knew we were at the hospital. And my mom had texted and called so I finally called her back and simply stated we were still waiting on baby which was true! 😉 

Between 12-5:30pm: I worked through contractions by walking, sitting on birth ball, leaning over bed with feet on ground. The contractions were not fun but they were tolerable by closing my eyes and trying to relax through them. I kept telling myself they were only 1 min long I could do it.

6pm: Dr Leroy came back for an internal check. I was 5 cm and 80% effaced. She removed the balloon and then water broken manually. Breaking of my waters was really not comfortable at all. It was probably the most painful part yet. After that was done it was a sit and wait game. 

The contractions got pretty intense after my water broke. I tried to do some laps but had to stop walking. I coped by leaning over raised up bed with feet on ground. I went through lots of ice packs to the forehead and burying my head in pillow. 

My husband called JoEllen our doula to come now that my water was broken and things felt like they were progressing. By 6:45 he was really hoping she'd be there soon as I was well into active labor. 

7:15pm Our doula arrived and helped with pain management. She suggested I move to leaning on back of the bed with knees on bed as standing got difficult. JoEllen was best at squeezing hips together during contractions and counter pressure on tailbone once urge to push got intense. 

7:30pm I felt like I had to push, couldn't hold back sensation. We asked for the doctor to come and check me. I was 8-9 cm with a cervical lip remaining. The doctor said she could help progress that along so the nurses started to set the room up for delivery. 

8:00pm I started to push in the position I was in over the top of the bed. 

8:15pm I moved to side lying on bed then eventually to lying on back pulling knees back and crunching forward on pushes with each contraction. 

My husband coached me. He would count to  10 and repeat three times per contraction. At some point I struggled to recover my heart rate so the baby's heart rate was struggling to recover too so the doctor had me recover with oxygen on in between contractions. 

This part of the labor felt like an eternity. It was my second workout for the day as I had worked out earlier that morning. I think I asked a few times if I was getting close. At one point the doctor asked me to reach down and feel the head crowning. I did and that didn't really feel like much except slime. You could have fooled me that it was a head down there if you had wanted to. 😳 

8:40pm I finally progressed enough and the baby had made its way. The doctor asked if I wanted to help pull baby out. I replied maybe ask me when it's time. Well once that time arrived she said "Breana reach down and grab your baby" and I did. 

Lincoln arrived at 8:41pm. Reaching down and helping to pull him out was a really cool experience. I can't say I EVER thought that would happen or that I would be up for it. Once baby was out he immediately went up to my chest and we did skin to skin. We also tired to see if he would latch to nurse. He did some routing and did suck for a little. I also hand expressed some colostrum and placed in his eyes as we did not do the eye ointment. 

8:50pm Soon after Lincoln was delivered I felt another strong contraction and the doctor looked and there was the placenta. She gently helped glide it out and place in the bowl. One curious thing was that the umbilical cord was attached towards the top vs in the center which may have been the reasoning for the low fluids. 

9pm I was hoisted into the stirrups to start tear analysis and repair. I had a first degree on back half and one tear on labia. This was quite a difficult time too as my legs were so tired and started to shake from fatigue and from hormones. 

At 9:45pm Lincoln's hour skin to skin time was up and they went to weigh and measure him. He was 7lb 12.5oz 20". He had brown/red tinted hair and big blue eyes. 

Week 40: Yep, still cooking a baby!

Well I my due date. I'm still cooking a baby and there is no real leading indicator that baby is coming anytime soon. I was only 1cm dilated and 70% effaced. So progress was being made but nothing saying today. Which I knew but everyone else didn't quite recall that babies come when they want and if a baby comes you'll be informed otherwise quit asking if baby has arrived. No news is really no news. 

I was okay not going into labor today though. I actually had hoped it would be late Sunday or Monday or the following week as my least favorite doctor in the practice was on call today and Sunday. I really didn't want to encounter her upon delivery if I could prevent it. But after Sunday I was good to go. My favorite doctor was on call Monday and the rest of the week I knew who was on call and would have been okay with any of them. I would go back to the doctor on Monday when I was officially overdue for a nonstress test and Ultrasound. So for now we wait. 

Week 38: Are we done yet?

Since we knew our pre-baby days were coming to an end we tried to get out as much as possible. We went to the Precinct with my family as one of my must have pre-baby meals. We also took advantage of every other opportunity to get out of the house including dinner with friends, trivia, FC Cincinnati soccer games, etc.   

Other than keeping busy and my belly growing daily and everyone asking if baby had arrived yet the last few weeks were uneventful. I still was walking a ton and sleeping as much as I could. 

Week 36: New hobby- operation walk a baby out!

This week started the weekly doctors appointments and the start of some really long walks around the neighborhood. I was trying to get at least 10,000 in each day but at this point I was getting in 12-15,000 a day. I was at this point pretty bored as we had completed all of our before baby projects so I made walking as much as possible my new hobby. 

Baby is officially getting big. I have less and less space for the little thing and it was definitely telling me it was cramped inside!  I just felt totally uncomfortable in my own skin and I knew I had several weeks left! 

Week 34: Officially popped

Nothing exciting happened between week 32 and 34 but my belly really started to pop! I guess it was good I finally told the rest of the people I work with because I'm sure they were starting to get suspicious. A few of the ladies who work on my floor wanted to throw me a baby shower but I told them I would rather just go to lunch to celebrate the pending arrival of my little one. So we went to Nada for lunch. I was surprised with a card that was signed by the entire floor and a gift card to buy buy baby which was very nice! 

We had our prenatal appointment with the doulas we chose to hire for the birth. We chose to work with Doulas of Cincinnati and with the Katie and JoEllen team where they share call and alternate every other week so we wouldn't know who would be coming to our birth until I go into labor. It was great to meet JoEllen as she had just joined the Doulas of Cincinnati team. We chatted about the birth wishes /plan we had in mind and how we wanted a doula to assist in the birth. 

Week 32: The Baby Shower

This weeks big event was my baby shower. I honestly debated over and over whether a baby shower was something I wanted or not. I was scared to have a day to celebrate my little bundle of joy as I was worried about the terrible what ifs of the future. (Remember I've had several friends who have lost their children - and my history didn't help either) But I knew if I didn't I would always regret it. (FOMO started to kick in) So in order to make having a shower easy to invite all friends and family I requested my mother and sister to host. This way I was having only one shower vs three I had for bridal showers which was exhausting. 

The shower was great. About 35-40 women came to shower the little one to be with love. My mom, sister, and a few of my aunts helped to pull together a great afternoon. My favorite go to meal was served, homemade chipotle/taco bar along with snacks and my favorite special treat gluten free cupcakes. The shower didn't really have a theme as no one knew the gender and I'm not a theme person since the nursery didn't have a theme instead more of a color scheme and an underlying tone regarding Disney quotes. 

I made my husband come to the shower to help open gifts. I told him this child was half his and he was going to want to know what we got anyhow he might as well be there to know right away. With that many people at the shower the gift opening felt like an eternity but I know we had to have been pretty fast since the shower didn't last too long. It started at noon, we ate food, played one game after introducing ourselves, and then we were well on our way to openings gifts. Most people were gone by 3pm. We were very thankful to have so many friends and family who were just as excited as we were to be welcoming a baby into the world. 

Week 28-29: The 3rd Trimester!

Woohoo! Third trimester! At this point in time still most of the of the people I work with have no idea I’m pregnant. It’s kind of fun to play how can I hide the bump but I know that end if coming fast. I still don’t feel like this is a real thing- having a baby. I’m not actually sure if it’ll feel real until baby is actually here. So for now it remains a figment of my imagination.

I’ve started to really feel the weight of the baby and uterus on my pelvis. I feel like my belly will just rip off at any given moment after being on my feet all day. Swelling of the ankles and lower legs is a common occurrence if I haven’t been able to get my feet up so I’ve recently moved my “standup desk” which is really an ikea end table to the ground in front of my chair so I can use it as a food rest and keep my feet up throughout the day at work. I’ve also tried to spend some time sitting on the exercise ball I have at work but that right now it’s very comfortable.

I’ve tried to move most of my workouts to the morning when I feel good after a night’s sleep before my belly and pelvis start to ache in which the only position that feels good is laying on my left side on the couch. Hopefully my body adjusts to the additional weight or I might need to start looking into a belt of some sort which is really not something I want to start having to wear daily.

We met with the first pediatrician that was recommended to us as she was close to our house and was within the same health organization that all my doctors are now. However, that meet and greet did not go so well. As my husband said she had a stick so far up her butt and she wasn’t going to get along with me (or him) so it wasn’t a good fit. After the meeting, the next day I immediately called the other pediatrician practice to get some information and set up a meet and greet…..More to come on that.

Week 26 - 28

My last work trip occurred during my 26^th week of pregnancy. Baby officially has been to the following states as a fetus: Tennessee, Florida, Texas, Utah, and of course Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana! This trip was quite interesting as I left Cincinnati with a cough and by the time I boarded my plane to come home I was super sick. I feel sorry for all of the people that had to sit near me on the flights back home because I wasn’t taking any medicine so I was stocked on tissues and water to try to keep myself content.

The final weeks of my second trimester were pretty uneventful. I worked on the typical items, prepare the nursery, work on adding items to the registry, and staying active. We did however have a private four hour birth class with a local doula where we learned a lot about the signs of labor, the labor process, and delivery aspects. This in my opinion was the perfect way to get the information we needed to be prepared for our upcoming labor and delivery in a short and concise method tailored to what we wanted to know. 

Week 25: "Orange Drank"

I wanted to get my gestational diabetes test over as soon as possible so just at 25 weeks I got that out of the way. As much as people complain about the test, it wasn't that bad. I can't say the orange drink tasted that great but since it was cold and I chugged it down in under 2 minutes I can't say much about it. It did however make me few little sick after drinking it. Luckily I was at work when I drank the orange stuff and was able to get a little water down afterwards to help get rid of the awful sugary after taste. The worst part of the test was limiting sugars and carbs for a few days before hand. Now I haven't been going crazy with either sugar or carb intake but I also haven't been super strict either. So going back to a restricted diet for a few days wasn't fun. I can't say I'm quite ready for the after baby clean up diet phase yet. 

As soon as the blood was drawn I did however talk them into giving me a mint since I had totally forgotten to bring water or anything into the doctors office with me to have after the test was over. 

At this appointment I had brought a lot of questions with me as I was exploring options for labor and delivery. I knew going in I was seeing the doctor who I had seen when I got the first genetic test done and she was also the one who delivered that fateful phone call with the results. She already wasn't my favorite and let's just say after this appointment she is now the doctor I hope is not on call when I go into labor. I have a 1 in 6 chance of it being her so for now I'll take my odds although I know I've never been the lucky one. But after all the doctor is only there to catch the baby or in the event (knock on wood) something goes wrong, right? 

A few days later my results came back - I wasn't at risk for gestational diabetes. Woo! I was somewhat worried since my carbs and sugars were higher than they had been for quite some time. And if I had been that would have just made for another thing for me to worry about on top of just being pregnant and hoping for a healthy baby. For now, I'm good. Thanks goodness!